The Voice Within

 

 

Beep Beep Beep!  I hear my alarm go off.

Its 5:00 a.m.  Time to run.

I pull off my pink and black covers and slowly get off my lofted bed.

Bang!

I fall to the floor.

Ugh stupid rug.

I get back up and read my roommate’s feelings.

Oh good she is still in a good mood. I didn’t wake her.

I go to the bathroom and get ready to run.

I make my way outside my dorm building and start to run.

As I am running I feel a feeling of coldness and darkness .

Who is feeling this way?

I look around and see there is no one around me.

I keep running.

 

 

 

 

I come back to my dorm and get ready for classes.

Now it is time for class.

I hope I don’t see Kyle today.

I walk to the north part of campus for my English class.

My heart starts thumping and all of a sudden Kyle comes up to me.

He is defintely in love with me.

Hi! Phoebe, he said.

Hi! Kyle.

So where are you headed to?, Kyle said.

To class.Now bye.

I walk away fast.  Hoping to not feel the pain he will feel.

Ugh, I guess that was kind of rude. Hmm, maybe  I will give him a chance.

I make it into my English class and sit next to my best friend,  Emma.

Hey Phoebe!

Hey…

What is wrong?

I just saw Kyle and I was very rude to him.

Poor Kyle, but you know what, you can make it up  by coming to a bonfire with me at Kyle’s place.

Uh, I don’t know, I said.

Oh come on. You have to have a little fun.

You can bring Tim and apologize to Kyle while having fun.

Hmm.. Ok.

Oh and don’t worry about wearing anything nice, she said.

Why….?  I asked.

Oh because we are all going to be naked.

What!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ,I yell.

The bell rings and I feel  so scared.

My heart starts beating fast

I black out………………

 

I feel the feelings of sacredness and worried. I look around and see my brother, Tim, Emma, Kyle,  and  Mark,my other friend/boyfriend ,all staring at me with looks of concerns on their faces.

I sit up on my bed and as soon as I do I am bombarded with some many feelings and voices.

Phoebe!  Are you okay?

Phoebe!  Why did you black out?

Phoebe!  You don’t have to come now.

Phoebe!  Sit back and rest.

Ugh!!!!!!!! I can’t take this anymore.

I get out of my bed and walk out of the room.

 

 

 

 

 

I walk outside and keep walking.

I don’t know where I am going to go. I feel mad, sad, angry, hurt, loved, happy all at once.

Why can’t it just stop?

Phoebe!!

I turn around and see Kyle coming my way.

What do you want Kyle, just go away.

I love you Phoebe.

I feel his heart racing and the feeling of love goes through my body.

What!!!!!!!!!!!

I love you Phoebe.

Just go away!!

Come with me to my place.  You can just relax and plus you can get away from the rest of the people.

What do you say?

Gosh, ok fine. Let’s go.

 

I walk up to the door and automatically I am filled with a feeling of surprise.

He kisses me.

I feel his soft lips on my body. Gosh it feels good.

Oh you are definitely staying for my campfire, he says.

 

 

The next thing I know I’m putting my clothes back on and it is ready to start the campfire.

OMG what did I just do?

Hey cutie!!!!!!!!!

Stay the hell away from me!

What did I do? I thought you enjoyed it.

I can’t take your feelings. Just stay away.

I ran away to the forest.

Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I yell

The wind picks up and the trees are swaying.

I feel a sense of anger and madness.

 Kill everyone. Go ahead it is the only way to get rid of the feelings and be free from everyone, I hear  from a distance.  Then I am interrupted by Kyle’s voice.

Phoebe! Come back I didn’t mean to hurt you.

Get the hell away!!!!!!!

You are hurting me!

What do you mean?

YOU ARE HURTING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I back up to the tree.

GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Phoebe what is wrong ? ,he says while getting closer.

Stay away from me!

I push him down and throw a rock at his head.

He is now unconscious.

Now kill him I hear someone say from a distance.

I prop him up and break his neck.

Good girl I hear.

Phoebe! Phoebe! Where are you? I hear, Emma say.

I am down here. Hold on . I will be up in a second.

I take off Kyle’s clothes and hide his clothes in the dirt and take off my clothes ,but only leave my shirt on.

 

I walk up from the woods and can already tell Emma has already been drinking.

Omg! What happened to your clothes. Hehehehe

O nothing. Heheheheh!

Did you have sex with Kyle?, she asks.

Heheheh yes I did, I play off trying to act all giddy.

What is your boyfriend, Mark ,going to say when he sees you like this?, she asks.

O don’t worry, he will get a little bit of it also, if you know what I mean ,I say.

But Emma, can you please help me clean up and do my hair again.

Oh sure thing girly. Let’s go to the bathroom.

 

 

We enter the bathroom and I take my clothes off and get in the tub.

After washing up I get dressed and have Emma blow dry my hair.

While she is doing my hair, she says, “Hey I want to get in the tub. Hehehe”

She is so drunk.

She gets in the tub and acts so giddy.

You did it with Kyle Omg! Omg! Omg! .I can’t believe it .Omg!

I can’t take her happy ,giddy drunk self . Ugh! I can’t take her feelings.

I grab the blow dryer and put it in the tub.

It electrocutes her.

Stupid girl.

Good girl now kill the rest, I hear again from a distance.

Babe! Where are you?  ,Mark says.

I am up here freshening up. I will come down in a few minutes.

I lock the door to the bathroom and go downstairs.

 

Hey babe!

Phoebe are you feeling better, Mark says, kind of tipsy. I can tell his was drinking before as well.

I am feeling better . Thanks Babe ,I say as I kiss him on the cheek.

Where are Emma, Kyle, and Tim?

Emma is getting ready for the campfire upstairs. Kyle is getting the campfire ready and Tim hasn’t arrived yet, I say while kissing him.

 

I pull him into the family room and onto the couch. I start making out with him.

Get off me Phoebe. What are you doing? This is not the time to do this.

I feel his feelings of disgust and hatred fill my body.

You asshole. Why am I even with you!

I go to the kitchen . You think I am disgusting.

What I never said that? It is just that it is not the right place.

I feel his feelings of caring feel my body. Ugh I can’t take this.

I grab a knife from the kitchen drawer and stab him 3 times.

Asshole!

I drag his body to the closet near the front door.

I hear a car pull up to the door.

I walk out and it’s Tim.

Hey bro!

Are you feeling better Phoebe?

Yes I am and I am sorry for acting that way earlier, I say while giving him a hug.

It is ok. So where is everybody? , Tim says.

Well Kyle is out in the woods creating the campfire. Emma is getting freshened up and Mark is taking a nap upstairs.

Phoebe Iets talk while everybody is getting ready.

Ok I say.

You need to forget about boys for a while and concentrate on yourself. You are too involved with boys and are losing yourself.

I am not too involved and plus I don’t have a boyfriend anymore.

Really! You broke up with Matt? Yes, I did .

Well then in that case. You go girl, he says, a little tipsy while giving me  a hug.

I can feel his excitement and happiness build up inside of me. Ugh I hate it.

Phoebe, I love you, he says, You’re the best sister ever.

Ugh his feelings of love and happiness get stronger.  Ugh!

I push him off of me and punch him in the face.

I then grab a pillow and suffocate him until he can’t breathe

He wasn’t much of a brother anyways.

Yes! Good job girl. I hear a voice say from a distance.

I turn around ,but no one is there.

I go to the phone and call everybody else to the tell them the campfire is off.

NO ONE is coming to this house.

I go to the mirror and examine myself.

I look a mess.

“The feelings won’t officially go away until you kill yourself, Do it.” I hear someone say into the distance.”

I grab the knife and stab myself in the stomach 2 times.

I fall to the ground and look around me once more.

I see no bodies. I feel pain shoot through my body.

I look down and see six holes in my body.

What the hell?

I only stabbed myself two times.

I realize my friends were never here.

I have been hurting myself the whole time.

I close my eyes for the last time.